Saturday, May 7, 2011

Questions that Cannot be Answered

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?
7. Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?
8. Why do “tug” boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” when we are already there?
10. Why are they called “stands” when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?
12. Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a “wise man” and ” wise guy” opposites?
14. Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?
15. Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27. Christmas – What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
28.Why is it, when a ship carries something it's called cargo and when a car carries something it's called a shipment?
29.Why do we drive a parkway and park in a driveway?

Answer
1. Yes.
2. It counts seconds.
3. Common sense.
4. Various essays.
5. Most likely derived from golfing slang, used when a particular stroke was bad.
6. "Slow down" means to decrease speed, but "slow up" means to increase slowness.
7. "Fat chances" refer to ratios, while "slim chances" refer to percentages.
8. That is the way they are built.
9. It's traditional.
10. "Stands" stand for us.
11. It is after it has become dark.
12. No, it just makes you more vigilant.
13. "Wise man" is an old term of respect, while "wise guy" is newer, sarcastic, and slang.
14. Looking and seeing are two different things.
15. It is, if you study phonics.
16. Work isn't terrific.
17. If the world was a stage, everyone would be acting.
18. Lingerie appeals to lust, not love.
19. No, the cross-eyes probably contribute to the dyslexia.
20. Because that is how the english language first classified pants: plural. In other languages, it is singular.
21. You don't know the batteries are dead. That is why you continue to push.
22. Suitcases were invented first, and were meant to hold anything.
23. Because it describes a complex concept.
24. To keep them from becoming rough from soap scum and skin oil.
25. Glue doesn't typically bond to plastics.
26. Because a TV set requires several components.
27. None.

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